About

Listen here, son. You know that recipe book your mother gave your sister? This is like that. But important.

This is all the stuff you need to know when I’m dead. It should answer all those questions you’d normally call me with. If you’re wondering why I didn’t give it to you sooner, re-read that last sentence, idiot.

If you’re not my son, your dad probably left you his own version of this. If he didn’t, you’re welcome to this one. If he’s still alive, give him a call. Unless you two aren’t speaking, in which case you have your reasons.

Regardless, this is sound advice. I should know; I wrote it. But I wrote it for my son. If you don’t like it or if you don’t appreciate my tone, joke’s on you next time you need to change the blinker fluid.

— Dad